yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
