Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
