just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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