I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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