Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
