I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
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