i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
