You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Ladies don't puke and tell
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
