3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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