called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Randomize
