i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
