New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
