I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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