I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize