She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
