dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
