how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
