honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
