so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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