I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
