haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
