Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
soo... how was my night?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
