She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize