I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Buhtt sex?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
