Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
