clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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