WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
