I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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