Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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