Whod you bang
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
