Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize