Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
