Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
