at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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