His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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