Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
