Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
