I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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