fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
