God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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