Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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