Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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