her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
