porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
