I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
