the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Dear god my vagina.
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