i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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