I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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