Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
