Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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