I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
