I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
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