I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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