Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
