Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
