What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
