Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
As shirtless as possible
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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