I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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