i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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