I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
