? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
