youre lurking in front of me
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize