before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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