I wish I only lived at night.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
