she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize