Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize